COMIC RELIEF: The Library Book
by Silver Ice
Summary: Hermione rents out a book from the library, but something happens. fr


  
  
Author's Note: I like Viktor Krum. I might be the only one. But I DO NOT want Vicky and Herm to get together. If you read The Dark Mark by me, you will see how annoying Karkaroff is ("Look! Don't you see? It is getting clearer every day!") and how much Snape finds him annoying. So just read it, okay? Promise? Okay, luv you.  
  
  
FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF...  
THE LIBRARY BOOK  
  
Hermione exited the library looking very happy. She'd checked out the last copy of Hogwarts, a Hisory REVISED, the new book that had been shipped in the night before. Since she had no class to get to, and the rainy weather had cleared, she went outside.  
  
"Hey Hermione!"   
  
Hermione turned around to see Ron and Harry. She walked over to them.  
  
"Hey you guys, how are you?"  
  
"Fine, did you get that book you wanted?" Ron assked, eyeing a book under her arm.  
  
"Yeah! Last one they had."  
  
"That popular, huh?"  
  
Hermione nodded, "Yes, they included much more on the 15th and 16th centuries, and it's just wonderful! Well then, I'm going somewhere quieter, all right?"  
  
Hermione walked down a path that was deserted, reading her book as she went.  
  
"Herm-own-ninny! Vait von minute!"  
  
Hermione, knowing exactly who was following her, quickened her pace. Viktor had quickened his pace as well. She could now hear his feet. Why is he always following me? Hermione began to jog, hoping she could get away.  
  
"Herm-own-ninny! Do you hear me? Vait!"  
  
Hermione turned toward Viktor, but turned back and ran top speed away from him. He too began to run at top speed, but since he was faster he grabbed Hermione's arm.  
  
And what happened next went by very fast. She turned around and Viktor accidentally pushed her into a huge puddle that had formed from the rain earlier in the day.  
  
"Ahhh!" Hermione was now laying on the ground, dripping wet. "Viktor, you STUPID IDIOT! Look at this mess! I'm so wet and I have a class in twenty minutes, how am I going to dry off? I don't have time to change, and I can't go in there wet!"  
  
"Can I ask you a qvuestion?"  
  
"What?" Hermione asked, sounding very annoyed.  
  
"Vould you like to be my girlfriend?"  
  
"Ha! Your girlfriend! I don't think so!"  
  
"Oh, vell vhy not? I am so hansome, you must like me."  
  
"Handsome? You? Yeah right! Why don't you just go and ask someone else to be your girlfriend, but I really can't help you at all. I mean, finding you a girlfriend."  
  
"Vell, I do not understand, vhy can't you help me?"  
  
"Use your tiny brain! Because I couldn't think of anyone that might like you! Well, maybe for twenty Galleons!"  
  
"Look your book," Viktor said, holding up the book, which was now wet and dripping ink.  
  
"That's not my book! It's the library's! And it's brand new! Oh, I am so going to die, those books were expensive!"   
  
"Vell, I found your book for you. Do you vant to be my girlfriend now?"  
  
Hermione stood up, splashing water everywhere in her rage. "YOU ARE SO STUPID!" And she kicked him right where it hurt most. He fell to the ground, looking as he might cry. Hermione kicked him in his head, and he looked like he was out cold. She put her arm out, and suddenly it hit something. A someone actually, someone screaming, "Look! Look! Severus, is yours this clear too?" Karkaroff was out cold as well, lying on the ground.  
  
"Thank you Miss Granger," said Snape as walked off. *WEIRD*  
  
"Who did that to them?" Ron asked, appearing out of nowhere.  
  
"Oh...um...well actually it was...me!" Hermione said, biting her lip,although looking quite pleased with herself.  
  
"You? What did you do to them?"  
  
"Oh, like this. You see, I punched Karkaroff, and then I went like this to Viktor!" Without realizing it, she had gotten Ron, who now joined Viktor and Karkaroff on the ground.  
  
"Ron! Ron, wake up! Ooh, I'm sorry!" Hermione poked Ron in the stomache, pinched him, then slapped him, but he did not wake up. "Oh well."  
  
She got two garbage bags and carelessly stuffed Viktor and Karkaroff in them.  
  
"Hermione, what on earth are you doing?" Harry asked, coming up to the scene.  
  
"Come here! Help me! I've got to hide them! I knocked them out on accident." They grabbed the garbage bags and threw them into the garbage cans.  
  
"Now help me wake Ron up!"  
  
In five minutes they woke Ron up and ran to the Transfiguration classroom.  
  
"Now transform your quills into --"  
  
"Sorry we're late! Ran into a problem, hope we're not in trouble," Hermione interrupted McGonagall as they burst into the classroom.  
  
"You are now thirty minutes late! Where and WHAT were you doing?" McGonagall said sharply.  
  
"A puddle," Hermione mumbled.  
  
"Transform your quills into birds!" McGonagall said, now looking very cross.  
  
Hermione ended up with a bird, but Ron and Harry didn't. After class they stayed back.  
  
"Well you see..." Hermione explained the whole story.  
  
"You got rid of Karkaroff?" McGonagall asked.  
  
"Umm...yes, I did," Hermione said, knowing she'd get expelled for sure.  
  
"That's great! We'vee been trying to get rid of the git for some time now. He's as bad as Lockhart, you know."  
  
"What about Viktor?" Hermione asked. "He's a champion!"  
  
"Krum? You can leave him where he is, he's not all that important."  
  
"Really? So we're not in trouble?  
  
"Now, don't be silly! You've helped us all! I'll give you a reward if anything! I know, we'll send you a brand new copy of that book, and you can be a Head Girl, even if you aren't a seventh year yet!"  
  
So, Hermione was head girl, and Karkaroff and Viktor were quickly forgotten.  
  
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!  
  
  
Author's Note: Hooray! Yippee! Karkaroff's dead! Not really...not yet, at least. Maybe next one, huh? Okay, this was weird, and McGonagall would never reward them for that (McG would never be a death eater, either, keep that in mind), but I think I'm making progress. That's 3 comic reliefs so far. 


End file.
